Amazon.com is a strange, strange place. You wouldn’t necessarily know it from the Kindle Store or the newly expanded clothing selection — you have to dig deeper, down to where all the bizarre Amazon Service sellers are peddling their wares.
I spent some time today digging through Amazon’s basement of oddities. With the help of Amazon users’ lists and ratings, I’ve compiled a collection of the 20 weirdest things you can buy on Amazon. Enjoy.
All photos via Amazon.com
FAT REPLICA: The seller’s description describes it best: “The grossly dramatic replica of five-pounds of human fat is a shocking but strongly motivating attention-getter.” Well, I’m never eating dessert again… (View on Amazon.)
ROSWELL SOIL SAMPLE: Wow, do agents Scully and Mulder know about this? For only $12.95, the X-Files could be solved. (View on Amazon.)
DOLLY THE SEXY INFLATABLE SHEEP: Please tell me this is a gag gift. Please… (View on Amazon.)
MAGICAL UNICORN MASK: I think it’s safe to say there is nothing magical about this mask. It’s terrifying at best. (View on Amazon.)
UNICORN MEAT: How convenient that you can buy this in a can! The description tells us it’s an “excellent source of sparkles.”(View on Amazon.)
“ENGLISH AS A SECOND F*CKING LANGUAGE:” Because it’s hard to learn how to swear in another language. (View on Amazon.)
LIVE LADY BUGS: 1,500 for $12? What a deal. Organic gardeners understand why these are for sale on Amazon. (View on Amazon.)
RUNNY NOSE SHOWER GEL DISPENSER: It’s exactly what the name implies. Ewww. (View on Amazon.)
STEGOSAURUS DOG COSTUME: Your dog will definitely try to eat you in your sleep if you make him wear this. Never mind that the Stegosaurus was a plant eater. (View on Amazon.)
WOLF URINE: This sure seems like strange thing to put in a bottle, let alone sell online. But apparently it’s a great way to keep deer out of your yard. I know I wouldn’t want to be in a wolf-urine-soaked yard. (View on Amazon.)
TOILET MONSTER: Ahhhhh! No need for a toilet after you scare your guests with this oddity. (View on Amazon.)
NICKLE FROM 2003: Quick, it’s on sale for only $0.01! Some of the best buyer comments on all of Amazon. (View on Amazon.)
“BOMBPROOF YOUR HORSE:” Easily one of the strangest titles Amazon has to offer. (View on Amazon.)
KITCHEN ART HAM DOGGER: This handy little tool lets you make hamburgers in the shape of hotdogs. You know, so you can use all those hot dog buns? (View on Amazon.)
UNDERPANTS DISPENSER: Because sometimes you need a pair fast. (View on Amazon.)
“WHO CUT THE CHEESE? A CULTURAL HISTORY OF THE FART:” I have no comment. I’m completely speechless. (View on Amazon.)
COMPLETE BODY UNITARD: In case you want to join the Blue Man Group, I guess. (View on Amazon.)
URANIUM ORE: For $50, you get a sample of radioactive uranium ore. Not only is this one of the strangest things on Amazon, it also has the strangest buyer comments. (View on Amazon.)
WHOLE RABBIT: This isn’t the kind of rabbit you’re going to keep as a pet, obviously. Maybe it’s just the picture that’s mildly upsetting? (View on Amazon.)
Here’s a fun gift for the kiddos. “THE O’REILLY FACTOR FOR KIDS:” In the seller’s own words: “The bestselling author ofThe O’Reilly Factor, The No Spin Zone, and Who’s Looking Out for You? talks straight to kids this time. He is as demanding, direct, and wry asever—but he’s also more revealing too, sharing candid snapshots of his own childhood throughout.” (View on Amazon.)
(Note: There were a few other things that would have made the list, but they crossed the inflatable-sheep line.)
What did I miss? Add your links below.
Visit seattlepi.com’s home page for more Seattle news. Contact Amy Rolph at [email protected]. Find more of her stories on Twitter via @amyrolph and @bigblog or subscribe to her updates on Facebook.
