Portland - Page 7

SAD-Stricken Oregonians Seen Photosynthesizing in Public at First Glimpse of Sun

Portland
Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR – As Oregon remains firmly locked in its annual five-month-long “Gray Gloom Death Spiral,” residents are reporting...

A Truly Iconic McMenamins Portland Pub and Restaurant Is Closing

Portland
A major restaurant and pub from the Justice League-esque McMenamins group in the PNW is going dark this summer. The Rams Head Pub will...

Corey Feldman’s Music in “Goonies 2” to Be Used as a Torture Device for the Bad Guys

Portland
Share This ArticleIn a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack...

Experts Pretty Sure It’s the End Times, But Scientists Insist It’s Actually Just a Tuesday

Portland
Share This ArticleWORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced...

Hollywood Confirms ‘The Goonies 2’ – Lizzo to Star as Chunk, Just Truffle Shuffling for Two Hours

Portland
Share This ArticleAfter years of speculation, Hollywood has finally greenlit The Goonies 2—but it’s not the sequel anyone expected. In a...

Jerry Garcia’s Ghost Found Running a Portland Dispensary—Still on a Really Long, Strange Trip

Portland
Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the local jam band community, customers at a small dispensary in...

GoFundMe Created for Husband Who Thought Telling Wife to Calm Down Was a Good Idea

Portland
Share This ArticleIn what’s being dubbed “the most expensive two words ever spoken,” a local man has launched a GoFundMe after...

Eugene Voted Most Likely to Smell Like Weed Before 9 AM

Portland
Share This ArticleIn a nationwide study that absolutely no one asked for, Eugene, Oregon, has taken home the prestigious title of...

Portland Tesla Owner Remembers to Leave Tesla at Home Before Protesting Tesla

Portland
Share This ArticlePORTLAND, Ore. — In what might be the most Portland thing ever, local resident and proud Tesla owner Trevor Greenfield made headlines...

Tired Couple Thanks Motel for Nostalgic Cigarette Scent in ‘Charming Vintage Room’

Portland
Share This ArticleAfter a grueling 12-hour road trip filled with endless stretches of highway and way too many gas station hot...

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