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SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking new report released Thursday, Oregon has officially been named the number one state in America for living in a faded, slightly moldy, sky-blue van down by the river — narrowly beating out Washington thanks to its looser parking rules and statewide acceptance of smelling like patchouli.
The ranking, issued by the North American Alternative Housing Index (NAAHI), cites Oregon’s endless supply of scenic rivers, chronic housing crisis, and “a general statewide vibe of ‘meh, do what you want’” as the primary factors for the top spot.
“This is huge for us,” said a man named Skylar, emerging shirtless from a vintage
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