Man Who Identifies as Turtle Requests Residency at Oregon Zoo, Cites ‘Natural Habitat’

Share This Article

PORTLAND, OR — Local man Brian “Snappy” Thompson has officially petitioned the Oregon Zoo to recognize his true identity as a turtle and grant him permanent residency in the reptile exhibit.

“I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a turtle trapped in a human’s body,” said Thompson, who arrived at the zoo crawling on all fours, his back covered by a massive, eerily realistic turtle shell. “Society just isn’t built for people like me. I move at my own pace, I love basking under heat lamps, and frankly, I’d rather eat lettuce than participate in capitalism.”

Zoo officials were initially confused when Thompson slowly inched his way

→ Continue reading at That Oregon Life

Related articles

Comments

Share article

Latest articles