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In what’s being dubbed “the most expensive two words ever spoken,” a local man has launched a GoFundMe after making the rookie mistake of telling his wife to “calm down” during a heated discussion about reorganizing the pantry.
“It just slipped out,” the man, now referred to as the ‘Couch King of Suburbia,’ confessed. “I thought it would help de-escalate things. Spoiler alert: It didn’t.”
Within moments of uttering the phrase, sources confirm the temperature in the house dropped 30 degrees, and the wife’s glare reportedly cracked the wine glasses in the dishwasher. Witnesses (their dog) described the scene as “tense, with an overwhelming smell of regret.”
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