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WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s just another Tuesday.
“We’re seeing all the classic signs of the apocalypse,” said Dr. Harold Brinkman, a leading eschatologist and part-time doomsday prepper. “Unprecedented wildfires, politicians openly eating the rich (metaphorically, for now), and the fact that Taco Bell is charging $12 for a Crunchwrap Supreme. If this isn’t the End Times, I don’t know what is.”
However, the scientific community remains unconvinced.
“We understand that it feels like
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