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In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia of the long-awaited sequel, Feldman’s songs will serve a very different purpose: psychological warfare.
According to sources close to the project, the film’s villains will not be defeated through daring escapes, booby traps, or classic Goonies-style teamwork. Instead, they will be subjected to an all-out sonic assault featuring Feldman’s greatest hits (which, to be clear, are all equally terrible). At a recent press conference, the film’s director defended the
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