Archaeologists Unearth Mysterious Metal Artifact in Oregon, May Date Back to Late 1970s

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FORT ROCK, OR — Archaeologists working near the site of Oregon’s famed ancient sandals have stumbled upon a curious metallic object of unknown function, believed to date back to the late 1970s—a time period researchers refer to as “post-Woodstock but pre-Reagan, culturally speaking.”

The object, small enough to fit in the palm of one’s hand, features a shallow bowl-shaped opening, a tubular body with textured grip, and what experts are calling “a suspiciously chill aura.”

“We can’t say exactly what this was used for,” said Dr. Mark Delaney, an anthropologist at the University of Oregon. “It could be a ceremonial wand, a tool for herbal sorting, or

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