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Experts Agree: ‘The NeverEnding Story’ Is The Ultimate Emotional Reset Button

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Share This ArticleU.S. — After decades of research, burnout, and failed coping strategies involving expensive apps and oat milk lattes, mental health...

Tina Kotek Gets a Head Start on Earth Day by Buying a Tesla, Looks to Explain on Joe Rogan’s Show

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek is shaking things up this week with a move that has left some...

Oregon State Scientists Baffled as Willamette River Births New Glow-in-the-Dark Creature

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Share This ArticleWILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — In a groundbreaking yet deeply unsettling discovery, scientists at Oregon State University have confirmed the spontaneous...

Oregon Man’s Depression Downgraded from “Crippling” to “Moody” After Full Day of Sunshine

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Share This ArticleCreswell, OR — In what mental health experts are calling “a minor miracle” and “the emotional equivalent of unclenching your...

Portland Family Says Final Goodbyes to Dad Who Bravely Drank From Benson Bubbler

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Share This ArticlePORTLAND, OR — A local family is in mourning after 44-year-old Ron Breckman tragically passed away this week following what...

Report: Someone Needs to Quiet That Sniveling Brat Immediately

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Share This ArticleSALEM, OR — A routine grocery run at the WinCo Foods off Commercial Street in Salem turned into a full-blown...

Bill Could Make Cellphone Use in Oregon Classrooms a Thing of the Past

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Share This ArticleA statewide ban on cell phones in Oregon’s K-12 classrooms could soon be on the books, following years of discussion...

BREAKING: Cat Confirms It Did, In Fact, Lick the Lasagna

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Share This ArticleIn a stunning turn of events Tuesday evening, household cat Mr. Biscuits has officially confirmed that he licked the lasagna,...

Oregon Braces for Rare Tornado Risk as Severe Storms Target the Willamette Valley

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Share This ArticleA rare and potentially dangerous weather event is expected to impact parts of Oregon and the broader Pacific Northwest on...

Oregon School Earns “Gold Medal in Predator Enablement” After Flawless Record of Inaction

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Share This ArticleIn a historic achievement for institutional apathy, St. Helens High School has been awarded the coveted Gold Medal in Predator...
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