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Portland, OR – In what some are calling an act of divine intervention, local progressive and proud Kamala Harris supporter Jeremy Feldman returned to his parked Tesla Model 3 in downtown Portland on Tuesday night to find it completely intact—a statistical impossibility given current attitudes toward the Elon Musk-affiliated vehicle.
“I fully expected it to be either smashed, spray-painted with ‘EAT THE RICH,’ or stripped for parts by an anti-tech vigilante group,” said Feldman, still processing the unlikely turn of events. “But nope. She’s still here.”
The Tesla, which proudly displayed three ‘Coexist’ stickers, a ‘Harris 2024’ decal, and a ‘Stop Driving Cars’ bumper sticker, was parked
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