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In a shocking yet somehow predictable turn of events, Idaho has officially pulled out of the Greater Idaho Movement, citing grave concerns over what officials have dubbed “the Devil’s Garden of Unholy Plants” festering just across the state line in Oregon.
“We had a vision,” explained Idaho’s spokesperson, Karl ‘Pure-as-the-Driven-Snow’ Johnson. “We dreamed of a larger, holier Idaho where good, clean-living folks could raise families free of sin, vice, and moral corruption. But then we remembered… Oregon has that thing—the Devil’s Lettuce—and we cannot risk it infiltrating our holy land.”
Lock Up Your Animals and Board Up Your Windows
According to War On Drugs expert Linda
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