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Cougars across Oregon are once again sounding the alarm as yet another human has wandered deep into the wilderness, completely unprepared and blissfully unaware of their surroundings. Local mountain lions, who have spent generations fine-tuning their survival instincts, are reportedly baffled by the species’ continued lack of common sense.
“This one showed up wearing flip-flops,” said a visibly concerned cougar, licking his paw in exasperation. “FLIP-FLOPS. To hike. In our territory. At this point, I’m starting to think they want to become nature’s next snack.”
Reports indicate that the human in question, who has been spotted meandering aimlessly in the underbrush, entered the forest with no water,
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