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A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to see unclothed.
The study, which surveyed thousands of unfortunate hikers who made the mistake of stopping for a soak at Oregon’s most popular hot springs, revealed an overwhelming pattern. Without fail, the people most eager to strip down in public were the ones science—and common decency—suggests should never do so.
“It’s like they all have a sixth sense,” said lead researcher Dr. Lauren DeWitt, who spent six months studying
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