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A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February.
“It’s essentially like living inside a wet sock,” said Dr. Philip Malweather, a local meteorologist and lead researcher of the study. “The air is damp, the sun is a distant memory, and everyone you know is either buying a sun lamp, booking a flight to Hawaii, or frantically googling ‘symptoms of vitamin D deficiency.’”
The study, which analyzed weather patterns, seasonal depression rates, and the number of people muttering “I can’t do this anymore” while staring
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