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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a groundbreaking announcement today, Donald Trump declared that blue hair will soon be banned across the United States in an effort to “restore national pride and patriotism.”
The bold initiative, dubbed the “Hair to the Chief Act,” would outlaw any dye job resulting in shades of blue, teal, or periwinkle, which Trump described as “unpatriotic” and “a distraction from real American values.”
“Blue hair is a problem, folks. A big problem,” Trump told reporters during a press conference held at the Mar-a-Lago ballroom. “It’s not natural. It’s not American. When you see someone with blue hair, you think, ‘What’s going on there?’ We
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